Stardate 5784.0. In one of his most moving portrayals, Michael Dunn plays Alexander, "everybody's slave" on a planet of telekinetic beings.
|Are you from the spaceship Enterprise?|
|Alexander, at your service.|
|I sing, I dance, I play all variety of games, and Iím a good loser. A very good loser! Please try to bear that in mind.|
|Now, would you please accompany me?|
|Our leader liked Platoís ideas. Plato Ö Platonians. See?|
|In fact, our present philosopher king, Parman, sometimes calls us Platoís children Ö although we sometimes think of ourselves as Platoís stepchildren.|
|Excuse me. Someoneís waiting for you.|
|They say Iím a throwback Ö and I am, and so are you.|
|Sorry. I shouldnít have said that.|
|What do you mean, "like me"?|
|I thought you were talking about my size, because they make fun of me for my size.|
|They were treating you the same way they treat me Ö just like me! Only you fight them!|
|Listen, where you come from, are there a lot of people without the power, and my size?|
|Iím ashamed to be a Platonian. Ashamed!|
|I was brought here as the court buffoon. Thatís why Iím everybodyís slave and I have to be 10 places at once and I never do anything right.|
|All the time I thought it was me Ö my mind that couldnít move a pebble. They even told me I was lucky they even bothered to keep me around at all, and I believed them!|
|I never knew people like you existed.|
|Oh, you mean, the same thing that kept me from having the power made me a Ö dwarf.|
|All I ask is one thing. If you do make it out of here, take me with you. Just drop me any place where they never heard of kyranyde or Platonius.|
|I could have had your power, but I didnít want it.|
|I could have had your place right now, but the sight of you and your academicians sickens me.|
|Despite your brains youíre the most contemptible things that ever lived in this universe.|
|The arms and legs of everybodyís whim. Look down. Donít meet their eyes. Smile Ö Smile!|
|They were gods to me.|
|How could I forget that? It was exactly six months and 14 days after we got here that they started pushing me around.|
|Itís not me; itís not my size. Itís them! Itís them, itís them!|
|Donít save them; let them die. At least let me give them a taste of what they gave me. Please, theyíre going to kill you anyhow Ė you know that!|
|Thatís the first time anybody ever thought of my life before his own.|
|I should have told you when you first came there that they were going to kill you because I knew that, but I was afraid. I was afraid Ö|
|Anything I can do to help, you just tell me.|
|Oh no! Not after what theyíve done to ME!|
|Do you think thatís what I want? Become one of them? Become my own enemy? Just lie around like a big blob of nothing and have things done for me?|
|I want to move around for myself! If Iím going to laugh or cry I want to do it for myself! You can keep your precious power!|
|Not that Iím afraid or anything, but will it hurt much?|
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Film adaptation of Katherine Anne Porter's novel about a ship bound for pre-WWII Germany. In an Academy Award nominated performance, Michael Dunn plays Karl Glocken, arguably the least "foolish" passenger aboard...
|[Glocken] My name is Carl Glocken and this is a ship of fools.|
|[Glocken] Iím a fool Ö youíll meet more fools as we go along. This tub is packed with them.|
|[Glocken] And who knows? If you look closely enough, you might even find yourself on board.|
|[Levanthal] I beg your pardon. You arenít
Jewish, are you?
[Glocken] No. I have my own minority group.
|[Glocken] I donít mind not being seen at the Captainís table, perhaps because I was never invited in the first place.|
|[Glocken] Perhaps they thought we might hit it off.|
|[Glocken] Thatís the way it is. People are always mistaking me for someone else.|
|[Levanthal] You are sure you arenít Jewish?
[Glocken] Reasonably sure.
|[Glocken] Beg your pardon?|
|[Glocken] I think youíre being a bit harsh on yourself.|
|[Levanthal] When you hear that music wherever
you are, donít you have a special feeling about being a German?
[Glocken] I tell you Levanthal, now honestly, when I hear that music wherever I am I have a special feeling about being a dwarf.
|[Glocken] You may be the biggest fool on this whole boat!|
|[Glocken] Where have you been during this voyage?!|
|[Glocken] Levanthal you are blind! Absolutely
blind! You canít see whatís going on in front of your own face!
[Levanthal] What do you mean? You mean this business about the Jews? You donít understand us! The German Jew is something special. We are Germans first, and Jews secondÖ
|[Glocken] You are German, arenít you? You are the most German person I have ever met!|
|[Glocken] I find the most amusing things about people are the guilts that the drum up for themselves.|
|[Glocken] Oh, I can just hear you saying, "What has all this to do with us?"ÖNothing.|
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Tongue-in-cheek telefilm about down-and-out detective Frank Hogan (Richard Boone) and his diminutive partner Arthur Boyle (Michael Dunn) trying to solve a missing persons case in 1946 Los Angeles. This film also featured "Wild Wild West" veteran Victor Buono.
|[Arthur] You know, youíre 0 for 2 against that guy.|
|[Arthur] I just spoke to a member of our accounting staff and he assured me that a check has been mailed to you only a matter of a few days ago Ö the postal service is becoming just deplorable Ö|
|[Arthur] Sir, are you impugning my credibility?|
|[Arthur] Well then, sir, Iím afraid our firm shall just have to take its custom elsewhere Ö thank you Ö|
|[Arthur] What would you suggest as an alternative?|
|[Arthur] Mr. Lee got a little bit nasty last time. Wouldnít even send over any of his noodles Ö|
|[Arthur] As financial risks we rate something below the Rockefellers every place from here to San Diego.|
|[Arthur] Wonder how long it would take to drive from here to San Diego?|
|[Arthur] Now who do we owe?
[Francis] Open the door and find out.
|[Arthur] Francis, didnít anyone ever tell you
about a gift horse? That you should never look one in the mouth?
[Francis] I wasnít lookiní at her mouth.
|[Arthur] Besides, when someone bops you on the head with a gun youíre supposed to fall down unconscious.|
|[Arthur] Did you get a look at the guy?
[Francis] Only his fist.
|[Arthur] Francis, this is important.|
|[Arthur] Maybe next time youíll fall down unconscious like youíre supposed to.|
|[Arthur] Well what do you want me to do? Punch him in the knee?|
|[Arthur] Did you ever get the feeling that we donít know everything weíre supposed to know?|
|[Francis] And a $50 penalty if I get bopped
[Arthur] $50 for each bop!
|[Arthur] Think it could have been our sweet
[Francis] I donít think it was Veronica Lake.
|[Arthur] Iíve got a feeling weíre in over our heads.|
|[Arthur] Oh Francis, I think Iím gonna be illÖ|
|[Arthur] I think weíre being followed.|
|[Arthur] Francis, sheís crying again.|
|[Arthur] That reminds me. What do you want for dinner?|
|[Francis] Now take it easy! Remember what
happened the last time!
[Arthur] That wasnít my fault! A minor miscalculation. Besides, it was a dumb place to put a tree.
|[Clerk] Where did you come from?
[Arthur] Jackson Heights.
|[Arthur] Francis, I donít like this man.|
|[Arthur] Oh yeah, our boy really does like the horses. I wonder if he was any good.|
|[Arthur] Francis, wake up. Look whoís here.|
|[Arthur] Francis and I have our funds sort of tied up at the moment.|
|[Arthur] Uh, gentlemen, Francis and I are here for professional reasons.|
|[Arthur] Well gentlemen, as usual you have been very helpful.|
|[Arthur] Yo ho, FrancisÖ|
|[Arthur] I really like westerns!|
|[Arthur] This is the one where the guy who owns the bank is selling guns to the Indians, but the guns are no good Ö so that really gets the Indians MAD Ö|
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Wild Wild West Sound Page | Season One
| Season Two | Season Three |
Season Four | Robert Conrad/Other | Ross Martin/Other
This page is dedicated to the memory and many talents of MICHAEL DUNN.
Many thanks to ThirdSide for generously hosting
Page design and sound/screen captures by Cal Lynn. No rights given or implied.
Page last modified December 12, 1999.
Page design ©1999 C.G.Lynn, ThirdSide.com/WildWildWest.org